


I Have Spent All My Years In Believing You

by chaos_ineffable



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Angel Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale Loves Crowley (Good Omens), Crowley Loves Aziraphale (Good Omens), Demon Aziraphale (Good Omens), Fluff, M/M, Muteness, Nightmares, Reverse Omens, ineffable lovebirds, reverse au, wing fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-27
Updated: 2019-08-27
Packaged: 2020-09-28 00:24:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20416823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chaos_ineffable/pseuds/chaos_ineffable
Summary: Zira has a nightmare. Thankfully, he has an angel there to comfort him.





	I Have Spent All My Years In Believing You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ProfessorFlowers](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ProfessorFlowers/gifts).

> This is based on the beautiful reverse au created by the amazing [professorflowers.](https://professorflowers.tumblr.com/) I adore Zira and the dynamic he has with Crowley so I had to write something for these cuties. Hopefully, it does them justice

Crowley fucking loves sleep. As far as he is concerned, there is nothing like laying in a soft bed after a long day and just not existing for a few hours. Even better is when he can convince his precious swan to lay in bed next to him. Zira rarely sleeps, despite Crowley’s best efforts, but he has mentioned before that he enjoys watching Crowley sleep.

If anyone asks, Crowley did not become a flustered, blushing mess at the comment.

Thankfully, everyone knows better than to ask.

Crowley loves sleep but sometimes it evades him. He was not designed for sleep, after all. On these nights, he’ll usually give up early and go find his swan. Never a hard task, especially since Zira usually wants to be found.

Tonight, though, Crowley smiles down at his demon. It is one of the rare nights Zira decides to share his bed and he is sprawled out over the mattress on his stomach, his swan wings spread out over the pillows. The angel gently runs a hand through those soft feathers, enjoying the small hum it draws from his little sparrow.

He’s content to just sit here and watch Zira sleep. It’s a sight he rarely gets to see but it is one of his favorites. In sleep, the demon loses the anxious scrunch of eyebrows and the sad twist of lips. He looks content in a way Crowley has never seen when he is awake. The scar over his mouth glints faintly in the moonlight, it’s golden sheen whispering the truth of how it came to be.

Crowley frowns slightly at the memory. He doesn’t like thinking about the first time he met Zira. The blood and tears and Zira’s fear. It leaves a sour taste in his mouth. He shakes the thoughts away and continues stroking the demon’s smaller wings.

Part of him wishes the night could stay like this forever. Once Zira wakes, he will bustle around the flat like a hummingbird, not resting until Crowley pulls out his favorite book and offers to read it to him. Crowley will pretend to be annoyed but will not try to hold back his smile. Zira will all but fly into his lap and make himself comfortable. Then Crowley will read until one of them falls asleep.

He smiles softly at the thought. That is a routine they have followed for centuries. It is one that he will fight to keep, even if it means going up against the whole Host.

Zira shifts beside him, a small sound escaping him. His swan wings flutter, shaking Crowley’s hand from where it is still buried in the feathers. Crowley watches him in confusion. His duckling is a peaceful sleeper. He rarely makes noises in his sleep and can get up as if he was never asleep at all.

It doesn’t take long for Crowley to understand what’s happening.

Zira begins whimpering, his swan wings drawing over his face, completely covering his features. The thickest part covers his mouth. His hands clench into fists around the bedsheets, his face scrunching in pain. His whimpers turn into quiet gasps which turn into sobs. His larger wings manifest and begin beating the air, the feathers ruffled and puffed up.

Crowley grabs him, gentle but firm, and pulls the demon to his chest, wrapping his arms around him. “It’s okay, lovebird, I’ve got you. You’re fine. You’re okay.” He soothes, rubbing circles into Zira’s back. He ignores the wings thumping against him, squeezing his eyes shut to avoid taking a feather to the eye.

Slowly, Zira comes too. He struggles slightly in Crowley’s grip before he recognizes where he is and latches onto the angel, burying his face in auburn hair. His wings fall limp on the bed and he clutches at Crowley, sobbing quietly into his neck.

Crowley continues to murmur soothing nothings into his hair, stroking his wings and back and head softly.

Eventually, the demon pulls away, wiping at his eyes and sniffling sadly. With trembling hands, he signs a slow, “I’m sorry.”

Crowley shakes his head and places his hands on the demon’s shoulders, “You have nothing to apologize for, sweetheart.”

“But I woke-” he pauses mid-sign to wipe away more tears, “-you up.”

“No, you didn’t. I promise. I’ve been awake for hours.” He can’t help but smile a little bit. His swan is far too sweet. “And even if you had woken me, I’d prefer to be awake now than to know that you went through that alone.”

Zira smiles back at him. The scar stretches with his lips, stopping him from smiling fully. His face falls as it pulls slightly at his muscles. His swan wings pull towards his mouth, beginning to cover up the scar.

Crowley watches him sadly. He wishes he could remove the awful reminder but he is powerless against the mark of a holy blade. He rubs Zira’s shoulders comfortingly. “Do you want to tell me about it?”

Zira closes his eyes, more tears falling down his cheeks. Crowley leans forward and presses soft kisses against the streaks they leave behind. When he pulls back, Zira gestures towards the scar.

It’s enough for Crowley to understand. Zira had dreamed about losing his tongue.

“Oh, swan,” he whispers, pulling the demon back against him.

He feels Zira’s shaking fingers begin to sign against his stomach. He pays attention, sure to catch every word. He feels his own tears begin to well up as he listens.

“You were there too. They beat you and cut off your wings. They made me watch. Then they…took my tongue again. It was just like in the Garden. I was so,” he hiccupps softly into Crowley’s shoulders, his fingers stuttering for a moment, “I was so scared, Crowley. They were hurting you and I couldn’t do anything to stop them.”

Crowley buries his face in his duckling’s neck, grateful when one of the small wings presses against the back of his head, completely enveloping him in Zira. The demon’s hands have fallen into Crowley’s lap, fingers lax against his thighs.

“Do you remember what I said when we first met?” he whispers against Zira’s neck. “‘I’m not going to let anything hurt you ever again.’ Do you remember that?”

Zira nods slowly, bending forward to bury his own face in Crowley’s neck. His lips tremble against soft skin.

“I meant it, lovebird. Nothing is going to hurt you, not while I’m around. You have nothing to worry about. I promise.” He pulls away just enough to look Zira in the eye. “Do you believe me?”

Zira’s black eyes flicker between his golden ones. Uncertainty and fear obvious in the draw of his eyebrows. Crowley cups one cheek and presses their foreheads together, bumping noses gently. He breathes with his demon, letting the swan consider his words.

After a few minutes, Zira pulls away. Before Crowley can ask his question again, lips press against his. His precious swan kisses him like it was their last day on earth. Crowley kisses back just as fervently. He tips onto his back, pulling Zira with him, situating so the demon rests between his legs. They continue kissing, taking delight in the other’s desperate moans and keening whimpers.

Eventually, Zira pulls back for air that he doesn’t need and signs a quick, messy sentence. “I will always believe you.”

Crowley smiles and pulls his swan back down, “I love you, sweetheart.”


End file.
